(The pink roses are in memory of my late Grandma Virginia, who passed 21 years ago on the 13th)I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day. I spent several hours writing a short story for the blog Inkpen Authoress' contest Heigh-Ho for a Husband. I only heard about it today & just barely made the deadline. Below is the story if you wish to read it.
MR. COLLINS UNREQUITED LOVE:
Mr. Collins stood in stunned amazement as Miss Elizabeth Bennet proceeded to remove herself from his presence, closing the door on his proclamations of love. He could not fathom that she would be so insensible to the advantages of a match with one whom had the favor of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
A quizzical expression crossed his comical features. He could not return to Hunsford & face Lady Catherine's scathing displeasure for failing to secure a suitable wife. He was willing to concede that Couisin Elizabeth might well be too strong-willed for Lady Catherine's approval. Perhaps, he thought, one of his other couisins would be more to Lady Catherine's liking. He began going over the Bennet sisters, trying to gauge which would be acceptable to Lady Catherine & her requiem.
Tittering laughter broke into Mr. Collins thoughts. He knew that likely it was the laughter of his couisins, Catherine & Lydia. He began to contemplate Couisin Lydia, who was more pleasing to the eye than her elder sister, Catherine. Couisin Lydia, he reflected, sadly is too fickle & not easily led. Lady Catherine would not be amused by Couisin Lydia's inappropriate outbursts & reckless behavior.
Couisin Catherine, while nearly as fickle as Couisin Lydia, could if given into Lady Catherine's capable hands, be molded into an amiable, demure wife, one whom, Lady Catherine would be pleased to give her condecension.
"Yes," Mr.Collins said aloud, to no one in particular, "I shall address my attentions to Couisin Catherine." Having resolved to a course of action, Mr. Collins began to prepare & rehearse his decrees of ardent admiration, as well as those of his future bride. For Mr. Collins was assured that Couisin Catherine would not be so insensible as Couisin Elizabeth. When he had commited to memory his speech of affection, he betook himself to find Mrs. Bennet, that he might be granted an audience with Couisin Catherine.
Mr. Collins did not need to search far. Mrs. Bennet burst forth from Mr. Bennet's study, a look of exceeding consternation written upon her brow. A facade of apologetic sympathy rushed over her features as she spied Mr. Collins coming towards her.
"Oh, Mr. Collins, I do wish to deeply apologize for the behavior of my foolish daughter." Mrs. Bennet barely paused for breath before opening her mouth to continue.
Mr. Collins raised his hand with an attempt at a smile, though twas more like unto a sneer. "My dear Madam, do not fret yourself. I desire an audience with your daughter, Catherine, if I may be so forthright." The sardonic smile remained throughout his pallid plea.
"Oh, Mr. Collins, Oh! I will fetch Kitty straightway." Mrs. Bennet said with hardly concealed glee, as she rushed about, calling in an ear-splitting cord, "Kitty! Kitty! Kitteee! Where are you child?!"
"What is it, Mama?", came back from the vicinity of Kitty & Lydia's bed chamber.
Mrs. Bennet's day cap bobbed up & down as she took the steps as rapidly, as her age & less than lithe figure, would allow.
"Kitty, Mr. Collins wishes to speak with you. Your sister has been foolish & refused him. Go down, be considerate of my nerves, & accept him."
"But Mama-"
"Do not cross me on this Kitty! Do as I say & go!" With this Mrs. Bennet half pushed, half dragged Kitty down to the parlour.
Mr. Collins looked up, the leering, sneering smile of condecension permeating his entire being. With one final push & a look of threatening, Mrs. Bennet withdrew, closing the door behind her. Being Mrs. Bennet & also wishing to ascertain that Kitty received Mr. Collins with favor, she pressed her ear to the solid oak plank door, straining to hear & not be heard.
Kitty watched her mother leave with a sense of trepidition & uncertainty. The sensation of needing to cough came so forcibly over her, that she could not suppress it.
Mr. Collins stepped closer.
Another cough.
"My dear Couisin Catherine, I wish to request the honor of your hand."
Two consecutive coughs.
Mr. Collins tried to recall where he was in his speech. "I am...assured that you will be sensible to the immense advantage that of a connection, that would bring you into the presence of Lady Catherine de Bourgh."
Cough, cough.
An expression of irritation briefly crossed Mr. Collins face, but the patronizing sneer triumphed. "My dear Couisin Catherine, your discomfiture must be the result of your awe of Lady Catherine & the magnitude of her position."
Cough.
" Do not disquiet yourself on this matter. You are just of the sort that Lady Catherine.."
Cough.
" shall approve."
Cough, cough.
Then, sounding harshly & brisquely through the door, the voice of Mrs. Bennet resounded, "Kitty! Kitty! Cease that infernal coughing. Take into account my poor nerves!"
Coughing proceeded for several seconds.
A look of complete exasperation took up residence upon Mr. Collins face. "Obviously, my attentions are not as welcome as I had perceived they would be."
Mr. Collins marched to the door & ignoring Mrs. Bennet's pleas to reconsider, he retired to his quarters.
Meanwhile Mrs. Bennet burst into a symphony of wailings & a fountain of tears.
Kitty ran to be consoled by Lydia, coughing all the while.
Amongst all the mayhem, Miss Charlotte Lucas entered. Thus with her entrance, so ends our tale of tragic unrequited love.
By Sarah Grace
God bless to everyone,
Sarah Grace
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